Archive for November 2008
Cats. Or dogs.
Normal people have partisan feelings about cats and dogs. These feelings are so widespread that normal people no longer realize that this is absurd, and have even created the classifications of “Cat People” and “Dog People.” Normal people are quick to identify with one of these arbitrary categories, much like they do with their parents’ religion and political opinions.
A family may have up to three or four of either species in their home before they are no longer considered normal. Some particularly progressive or moderate normal people may own both types of pets. Upon meeting a normal person, there are a few different methods by which you can determine which category they fall under. If the normal person is female, her silver charm bracelet should contain at least one charm featuring her choice animal. In the case that you are speaking to a normal male or the rare normal-female-sans-charm-bracelet, simply bringing up the topic of household pets should be enough impetus for the normal person to volunteer this information.
Normal people generally name their pets after tv characters, athletes, or baked goods. Normal people would also like you to know that their cat or dog is not only of the best species and breed in the world, but the best individual cat or dog to have ever existed.
